Ghost Nomad’s Hostel Checklist: What Actually Matters (and What’s Just Backpacker Lore)

Latin America

(This section sponsored by past versions of me who didn’t read the reviews)

• Kitchen: Mandatory. Local markets and grocery stores are dirt cheap. Eating out adds up fast. If there’s no stove or everything’s coated in sticky grease — pass. Check the sweet Mexican hostel kitchen below.
  
• Lockers: Must-have. Steel, with padlock clasps. If it’s made of plywood, it’s basically decoration. Thefts of opportunity are prevalent in Latam. The ideal hostel lockers are shown below.
  
• Wi-Fi: Decent in most cities, but expect black holes in remote zones. If it matters, check reviews or ask the owner before booking.
• Outlets: One per bed is non-negotiable. Bonus if there’s a semi-usable work area that isn’t a wobbly plastic table.
• Water: Tap water = gamble. Shared filtered dispenser = jackpot. Boiling water every day = not advised.
• Noise: Party hostels are everywhere. If the name has “fun” or “monkey,” you already know.
• Laundry: Easy to find. Just know they might wash your clothes with 12 other people’s underwear. Bring a laundry bag.
• Vibe: A few chill travelers? Great. Hippies who haven’t moved from the beanbag in two weeks? Skip it.
• Cleanliness: If the showers look like a biology experiment, bounce.

Southeast Asia

(Thailand, Vietnam, Malaysia, Bali, the usual backpacker circuit)

• Kitchen: Almost never. But you won’t need one. The street food’s better than anything you’d cook anyway.
• Lockers: Some countries are better. Most in Vietnam are junk. You want real steel. Wire baskets you can reach through? Might as well leave your stuff on the bed. Avoid junk lockers with funky mechanism or cheap keys (see below).
  
• Wi-Fi: Works most places. Unless your bed’s three walls and two floors away from the router. Then, good luck.
• Outlets: Fine in theory. But watch out for power strips that spark when you plug in. Also — bring a damn travel adapter 🔌 — especially for Malaysia and Indonesia and Southern South America (Argentina and Brazil).
• Noise: Traffic, barking dogs, roosters, 6am staff karaoke — pick your poison. It won’t be quiet.
• Laundry: Cheap and fast. But they reuse the same grimy plastic bag for everyone. Either bring one or ask them to change it.
• Cleanliness: All over the map. Spot-check the bathroom. If it smells like wet socks and Raid, that’s your sign.
• Honesty: Watch out for fake menus, silent upcharges, and the classic “tuk-tuk detour.” Smile, but keep your brain on.

Other Regions

Haven’t hit Europe, Africa, or Oceania yet — will update this section once I’ve done a few laps over there too.

Packing Essentials for Hostels

• Earplugs and an eye mask — unless you love snoring and fluorescent lights.
• Flip-flops and a quick-dry towel. Shared showers are never as clean as they look.
• Travel detergent for hand-washing when your clothes smell like the bottom of your backpack.
• A laundry bag. You’ll either use it, or wish you had.

Hostel Survival Tips

• I carry 2–3 🔒 padlocks 🔒 — not the dollar-store kind. . One won't fit, another one you’ll lose, and the last one you’ll actually use.
• Speed test the Wi-Fi in your bed and work space before committing to a week. Don’t trust the “fast internet” badge — it means nothing.
• If “party” is in the name, they mean it. Unless you’re into beer pong at noon, hard pass.
• Don’t assume staff speak English just because it’s a tourist zone. Learn 3 phrases in their language — you’ll get better help.
• Ignore 5-star reviews from people who stayed one night and left glowing praise for “vibes.” Look for posts from people who actually lived there a week or more.

Safety and Security Tips

• I always lock up my passport and important cards. If there’s no decent locker, sleep with it in your pillowcase. No joke.

Personal Anecdote: Robbed in Veracruz, MX

This happened at a shady hostel near the main beach, Playa Regatas, Veracruz. It’s no longer listed on major booking platforms or Google Maps. At the time, it had multiple types of lockers—some under the bed that were completely useless, and others cabinet style made of wood with flimsy metal I-screws, which I suspect were intentionally faulty.

I had just arrived after two overnight buses and, exhausted, locked my valuables in one of the cabinet lockers using my trusty padlock. After walking around town, I returned to find the locker had been tampered with. The I-screw could be twisted off with bare hands. Several hundred dollars in cash were gone from my wallet. Fortunately, my passport and cards were still there.

I confronted the hostel staff, who denied everything. I suspect it was an inside job.

The next day, I left and headed to Xalapa. Since I hadn’t booked through any online platform, I had no recourse except to leave a negative Google review. A few days later, I met another traveler in Xalapa who also reported a theft at the same hostel. Coincidence?

About a week later, I noticed a fraudulent charge on my credit card—apparently, the thieves had taken a photo of it. I canceled the card and contacted the fraud department. Thankfully, my credit card’s insurance covered the charge.

Hostel Staff and Customer Service

• Friendly ≠ helpful or competent. Watch how they deal with problems or complaints, not just how they smile at check-in.
• If something’s gross or broken, ask them to fix it.
• Be cool but assertive. Most problems get fixed if you speak up without making a scene.

Cultural Etiquette Tips

• Take your shoes off indoors. Especially in Asia.
• Each hostel has its own unspoken rules. Watch what locals and regulars do, and copy that.
• Don’t FaceTime your mom on speaker in the dorm, unless its empty.

Key Takeaways

• Don't rely on flimsy cardboard key lockers—bring your own padlock and assess hardware quality.
• Split valuables between locked bags and on-body storage.
• If a hostel has no front desk or inconsistent staff, that's a red flag.
• If the price is the same, book through platforms that offer some leverage and recourse.

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